|Things A Jamaican Would Never Do|
Jamaica is a brand and Jamaicanism is the brand of the brand. There are many things which distinguish us, set us apart, things which we will always do, and things which we will never do.
1. Yuh ever see Jamaicans a climb mountain wid flag and claim victory when dem reach de top?
2. Yuh ever see we ah hang out inna di miggle ah di Amazon jungle? Fi wah reason???
4. Yuh ever see we inna sea, bout we looking fi di Great White Shark? No sah - wi watch it pon TV!
5. Yuh ever hear a Jamaican in any Search & Rescue pan mountain? “A mi sen dem up a mountain? Dem find dem self way up, dem must find dem way back again. Idiat dem! A nature way fe feed de weak and hungry animal up deh”
6. Yuh ever see a Jamaican acting pon big screen going into a haunted house and asking, “Trevor you in deh?” If him foolish enough fi go inna di haunted house him an di duppy dem can stay in deh.
7. Yuh eva hear a Jamaican man seh ... 'no honey ... no need to cook rice and peas wid oxtail and a little chicken pon a Sunday ... mek wi eat a light salad instead'? Try yuh best ... not pon yu life.
8. Yuh ever see a Jamaican come a work an tell everybody dem bizniz, how dem never bathe dis mawnin, jus brush teet and wash face.
9. Yuh ever see a Jamaican who love talk over people food ... put dem face and nose inna it an say “That looks and smell good?” No sah! Dat wi cause fight.
10. Yuh ever see a Jamaican go inna di company fridge and go eat another person sandwich and nyam it off?
11. Yuh eva hear Jamaican pickney tell dem madda fi shut up and di Madda go take seat inna kitchen, take out cigarette start smoke and say she nuh know wah fi do wid di pickney? No. One box crass him face fi sure. An if dem live inna farin dem sen dem to Jamaica fi di summer and den di odder relatives fix dem bizniz and dem go back wid manners.
12. Yuh ever see Jamaican take meat out a fridge and stick it inna oven widout lickle seasoning?
13. Yuh ever hear Jamaican inna di work place ah talk bout how much time him wife make him sleep pon di couch? Crazy tings dat, cause even if she shut di door she expect him fi kick it open.
14. Mi never hear a Jamaican say dem woulda rather put dem parents inna retirement home dan make dem live wid dem. Only those who migrated to foreign lands will do dem tings.
15. Yuh ever see Jamaican people a cook and dem stir di pot, taste di food and put di same spoon right back inna di pot an nuh wash it off??
16. Yuh ever see a Jamaican have dem dog a lick dem face? Yuh mad? Yuh eva see yard people have dem dog sleep inna di same bed wid dem? Or dawg inna di couch and when dawg get up dem go lay down innna di same couch inna di same spot? Yuh ever see Jamaican people kiss dem dawg pon di mout? Yuh eva hear seh Jamaicans take five days off from work because dem puss dead? Or leave will wid millions of dollars to dog and puss?
17. Yuh eva hear a Jamaican madda inna a store a tell dem pickney 'no sweetheart, you can't have that, please put it back on the shelf'? Instead, yuh will hear someting like dis ... 'lissen yah pickney, mi nah walk a street an pick up money, put dung di sweetie dem an no badda mi peace today, yuh hear mi'?
We a Jamaican and wi stand up proud pon wi jamaicanness. Say anyting you want bout wi, but certain things, wi just not going to do. A just so di thing set.
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