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Obie An Di Country Doctor

A Jamaican country doctor running a clinic in Mocho wanted to take a day off work to conduct some business in Kingston, so he called his dispenser to take over.

“Obediah, Ah haffie go a Kingston today, Ah want you to keep the clinic open, in case any patients come in. You tink you kyan handle it?” Obediah was very excited. He had long harboured fantasies about being a doctor, but since he did not even go to high school, he knew it was just a fantasy.

“Yes, sah, yes sah!” answered Obediah, thrilled to be put in charge “ Mi a go meck sure say everyting run smooth.”

So the doctor went to town and the next day he returned to office and asked Obediah “So Obie, man in charge, how was it?”Obie smiled and preened himself like a cock chicken and said,”I had was to treat three patients. Di fuss one say him have a bad headache, so mi give him two Tylenol. Di second one seh him belly a hot him bad, bad, so mi give him some Maalox”

The doctor was pleased and said “Good work, good work. So what about di third patient?”

Obie was beside himself. He puffed up his chest with pride and said “Well, sah, suddenly dis ooman bust inna di door. She strip off all of her clothes and lay dung pon di examination table. When mi say all of her clothes, sah, mi mean strip herself stark born naked, and tell mi dat is long time she don’t see a man.

“And what did you do Obie” the doctor asked?“Well sah, I hold her down yuh see…”The doctor was shocked. He was now fearing a malpractice suit because of Obie. ”You held her down and did what Obie?” he asked sternly, while mentally starting to pack his things to move.“A hold her down yuh see doc, and put some eye drops inn her eye, ” He said proudly.

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