There is an ole time saying seh “yuh nuffi tek bad tings mek joke” but there are times yuh can’t help but laugh at yuhself like wid these stories.
Woman mistaken for monkey
KUALA LUMPUR (Malaysia) - POLICE say a man in Malaysia shot his neighbour as she picked sapodilla fruit (chiku) in his tree thinking it was a monkey.
Police chief in eastern Pahang state Yahaya Othman says Zainab Mohamath Ali was gathering fruit on Thursday when her neighbour shot her.
Mr Yahaya says the man came home and saw rustling in the tree and fired into it. 'Then there was screaming ... and only then did he know it was his neighbour.'
He says Zainab is hospitalized with a wound to the abdomen but her condition was stable on Friday.
He says police were investigating the man, a volunteer security corps member, for illegally discharging a firearm, which carries a maximum prison term of two years. -- AP
Mum seeks sex partner for son
OXFORDSHIRE (United Kingdom) - THE mother of a young man with Down syndrome is looking for a volunteer to have have sex with him said reports on Tuesday.
Lucy Baxter said her 21-year-old son Otto wants to have sex for the first time so she has gone public with her search for someone to help out.
'I'd like all my boys to find love and enjoy sex,' Miss Baxter told the Daily Mail newspaper.
Miss Baxter has four adopted sons with Downs syndrome.
'I would have no problem paying for Otto to go to Amsterdam to visit a brothel if that's what he wanted but I dare say he could afford to pay for it himself.'
Miss Baxter said she just wanted her son to have the same opportunities available to people without Down syndrome.
'I strongly believe that society has a learning disability when it comes to Down syndrome,' she told the Daily Mail.
'Why should these people be kept separate and pigeon-holed when they have the same emotions, desires and feelings as so called 'normal' people.
'He has the same expectations as everybody else. If he doesn't get a girlfriend, I will feel really bad, because I have sold him this thing that he is like everybody else.'
Cocaine dealers go bananas
BERLIN - A STUNNED supermarket saleswoman stumbled upon 28 kilograms of cocaine worth over a S$2 million while unpacking boxes of bananas in southern Germany, police said on Friday.
The crates of fruit, flown in from Colombia and imported into Germany via the Belgian port of Antwerp, were probably mixed up when they were being loaded onto the delivery trucks, Ludwig Waldinger from the Bavarian police told AFP.
'Some dealers must have picked up the wrong boxes,' he told AFP, adding that he would like to see the look on the faces of the drug dealers when they try to get their fix from the nutritious snack.
The 26-year-old shop assistant found the 26 packets of cocaine on Wednesday morning and immediately alerted the police, who are currently investigating the apparent blunder. – AFP
Man murdered by exercise
A TRANSGENDER woman was sentenced on Friday to four years in prison for killing her frail husband by forcing him to exercise.
Chris Mason, 41, was sentenced in for reckless homicide in the death of 73-year-old James Mason.
She pleaded guilty earlier and could have gotten five years in prison.
Mason's voice quivered as she tearfully apologised for the June death of her husband, who had heart problems.
A surveillance camera caught Mason forcing her husband around in the pool.
Chris Mason also goes by Christine Newton-John, the name she took after her 1993 sex change.
'I want to apologise to my former husband's half-sister for her loss as well as to my family and for my loss,' she said in court in an emotional tone.
'It's been very upsetting and devastating for our entire family.'
Regaining composure, Mason described their relationship.
'Jim had been in our family for over 45 years. He came up here from a small town and met my grandmother and my mother, who were like a mother and a sister to him,' Mason said.
'Over the years we gravitated towards each other, and he accepted me for who I was, not what I was.' They were in love, Mason said. – AP
'Toilet torcher' reward offered
The mystery attackers have targeted toilets across San Francisco.
A US firm is offering $5,000 (£3,450) for clues leading to the arrest of an arsonist who has been setting portable toilets on fire across San Francisco.
The Clorox Company is also offering a year's supply of toilet cleaning products in exchange for such tips.
More than two dozen toilets on San Francisco construction sites have been set on fire in the city in recent months, the Associated Press reports.
The cost of the damage has been estimated at $50,000.
The Clorox Company is sending out a team to advertise its offer to locals.
The patrol service is "a crappy job, but somebody's got to do it", joked a company spokesman.