A Jamaican Would Not Miss Bush PDF Print E-mail
If the shoe thrower had been Jamaican, George Bush would be sporting a coco.

Watch it now: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NuyzA5dT5Kk

The world is still talking, some laughing, about how lame US President George Bush’s security team was in relation to the shoe throwing incident in Iraq. The shoe, thrown by an Iraqi journalist, came from far, and then there was a second one, before the security team sprang into action.

One thing is sure though, lame duck president George Bush had better count his lucky stars that the shoe thrower was not Jamaican.

Why wi say that? Because, yuh see ... when a Jamaican a go fling, him fling straight. Him no fling gi miss. And how do we achieve that? Practice, practice and more practice. Yuh think say Usain Bolt, Asafa Powell or Veronica Campbell-Brown good as dem be, could just get up and claim say dem a big world champion?  Not a sankey doan sing so. Dem practice day een and day out.

Wi Jamaicans have the flinging ting down to a science, and wi get pleeeeenty practice. Teck for example, mango season.  Any Jamaican worth his or her salt, know how to stone hairy mango off people mango tree.  The tempting, ripe juicy mango could be up in the top of the tree in the mango tree of the neighbor, neighbour yard, all you need is one stone, or a green mango, and a straight hand.

There is an art to lining up the target and focusing.  When yuh see a Jamaican ‘kwint dung’ him eye and focus pon the target… target better kiss him free paper good bye, for him a go get clap, a claat inna di centre of  him guznik and will be sporting coco  and perhaps yam and dasheen for a while.

We Jamaicans also have the art of flinging bockle and stone. So much so that while the English language has ‘stone’ as both a noun and a verb, and has ‘bottle’ only as a noun, in the Jamaican language to ‘bockle’ somebody is a bonify verb.

Foreigners are amazed to watch two people preparing to stone or bockle each other, when they actually give each other time to set up their own pile of stones or bockles, before they start flinging.  That is what we call fairness and leveling the playing field and playing by a fair set of rules.

The other thing which is totally fascinating is the politeness of Muntadar al-Zeidi, the shoe assailant. “ This is a farewell kiss, you dog”  he yelled.  Now can you imagine if it had been a Jamaican flinging something after di president.  Poor Mr. president  might have been more deeply scarred by the  string of choice Jamaican ‘fabric’ (expletives) , than the missile itself.

So President Bush, Chat-Bout says you should continue to rejoice that your shoe assailant was not Jamaican. Chat-Bout has a question though Mr. Prez,  and one thing is obvious, him look like him teck two lessons in ‘siting’ (dodging) from the  Jamaican children who play dandy shandy with a ball made from an old milk box.  

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