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JA's Performance Enhancers

Image A shipment of suspected Performance Enhancing Drugs for the Jamaican track team in Beijing has been seized.(Joke)

Chat-Bout Note: For your entertainment, be sure to read all the way to the END!!

Coming on the heels of the disclosure that a member of the JA team has tested positive for a banned substance, the news has rocked the JAAA and cast an even greater pall over the team's preparations for the Games.

Speaking on condition of anonymity, a senior customs inspector told Reuters that suspicions were aroused by the bulky and lumpy shipment which was wrapped in rough, dirty burlap. Stenciled in bold letters on the bag was the address of the Jamaican team at the Village and also the words:
DELIVER TO ASAFA, USAIN, VERONICA and KERRON ... DEM CYAAN RUN GOOD WITHOUT IT.

Upon opening the package, dozens and dozens of a dirty, tubular product was discovered and immediately sent to the WADA lab in Beijing for testing. Chinese customs are certain that they have intercepted a shipment of pure, unprocessed steroids and have put the IAAF and the JAAA on notice that severe action will be taken as soon as WADA confirms their findings.

The pictures below is of one of the mystery 'products' from the shipment and was taken at the lab just before testing commenced.

Image

Image
Yam

Other mysterious substances found include the following:

Image
Chocho
Image
Coconut

Image
Dasheen
Image
Pear

 

A list of other Jamaican performance ehnahcers was also attached, sith a note that they would be deliverd within 48 hours.  The list included : steam fish, okra, calaloo, cow head soup, goat belly soup,  cow foot jelly, cornmeal porridge,  banana porridge,  flittaz

We will update this story as soon as there is more to report as indeed the entire world of track and field anxiously awaits WADA's report.

We know, it cracked us up too!

 
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